Just as you deserve to heal and move on, so does your ex. Avoid Being Each Other’s Crutch You loved, you lost, you’re now in mourning. If your ex calls, emails, texts, or stops by seeking comfort for his broken heart? Instead, kindly but firmly let him know that you are no longer his go-to support system.Rather than become a shut-in out of fear of your ex encounter, embrace the possibility and plan for it. In fact, your ex encounter will probably be a lot less dramatic than this scenario. In bumping into your ex, you may be reminded of what you loved about him or her. Instead, summon that inner strength, smile politely, and extricate yourself from the situation as soon as is possible without being rude.Yeah, that’s what I’ve been familiar with throughout my relationships. I struggled with the realization that I was about to do what I had always told myself was never an option: give up.
I was always on the other side of things – the heartbreak side.
You know the side where you take a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, turn on “The Notebook” and listen to depressing love songs full-blast in your car and question where you went wrong? Quite frankly, it’s something I didn’t think I was strong enough to do.
In Jonathan Swift’s 1726 novel, , Swift records a rule of thumb for tailors “twice around the thumb is once around the wrist.” Thus the rule may have originated from a simple form of measurement for tailors when determining the width of shirt cuffs.
However, in practice, this measurement is not always accurate.
What if you can’t completely cut off contact because you have children together, run a business together, or work together? If your ex wants to know how you’re handling the breakup? And you know what they say—what comes around goes around. And depending on the size of the city you live in, a post-breakup run-in with your ex is not only possible, it’s probable. Bumping into him does not mean that the two of you are meant to be together.
A word of warning when you’re in post-breakup mourning: DO NOT seek comfort in the arms of your ex. Instead, recruit a support system from your inner circle of friends, preferably friends who have your best interests at heart and won’t report back to your ex on your progress and setbacks. Then shut the door on any and all opportunities to help each other heal following the breakup.
Some have also suggested that the rule of thumb was a way for brewers to test whether a batch of beer was sufficiently warm enough. The thumb is far less sensitive to heat than a wrist or an elbow and wouldn’t be a very adequate measure of temperature.
The thumb may be used to measure the direction of the wind, which might be a possible source.
In giving yourself a six-month cushion, you greatly increase your chances of getting over your ex.
In the throes of post-breakup angst, you may not like the sound of that. Rather than fight what you know is right for you, give yourself permission to put the six-month rule into practice.
As a girlfriend, it is an unspoken “job” that we have to make our SO’s life better, happier and easier as best we can. Let me also let you gentlemen in on another secret: Sometimes we don’t know what will make us happy.